A Mother’s Wish

Nature was not a big part of my childhood. It came into my life later, when I met Michel, who was my boyfriend then and is now my husband. He did a lot of mountain biking, so I began riding with him and discovered two things at the same time: the bike itself and how much I liked being in the woods.

We were living in Montreal then, and it all started in Bromont. It had trails for beginners as well as stronger riders, and that is where I really learned. Mountain biking was not always easy. I had to work on the technique and the climbs, but we passed so many good days there together that I wanted to continue. We later moved to the Laurentians, and we are very happy here.

I loved being on the mountain, surrounded by the woods, grass and leaves. Road cycling did not give me the same feeling. Swimming and running entered my life later because I wanted to complete a triathlon, and eventually I found off-road triathlon.

Into Our Family

Michel and I have two children. Dahlia is 16 and Noah is 12, and both of them have been coming outside with us since they were babies. I have always joked that Dahlia learned to ride a bike before she learned to walk. We took the children to mountain bike events when they were very young, and cycling became an ordinary family activity rather than something we had to introduce formally.

As they grew, we added trail running and lake swimming whenever we could. We wanted them to enjoy moving, take care of themselves and understand that time outside could also be family time. We laugh a lot when we are together, and those are the hours I cherish.

Michel and I have different roles now that the children are older. Dahlia has become too strong for me to follow in many sessions, but Michel can still challenge her, especially in running. He talks with her about her performances, what went well and what she might adjust, and they enjoy training together. Their conversations are open and natural, and I love watching that relationship.

Noah has been in primary school while Dahlia has followed a sport-study program. He will begin secondary school and enter a similar routine, so soon both children will have afternoon training built into their school days. They are at different stages, but being active is something all four of us understand.

Monday to Friday

I work as a district manager in asset protection and cover a territory, so the job is demanding and requires many hours each week. During the school year, Monday to Friday can pass before we have time to notice. On some mornings, Dahlia and I go to the pool together. I drop her at school afterwards, go to work, come home for dinner and homework, and then the day is nearly finished.

We have to be organized because there is no other way to fit everything in. Dahlia goes to the pool three mornings each week, attends school and then finishes early enough to train with the coaches in her program during the afternoon. When she comes home, her training is already done and she can turn to dinner and homework. That is often when Michel and I find time for our own sessions.

We alternate the responsibilities. On one day I may handle dinner and homework while Michel trains, and on another day he takes over so I can go. Weekends give us room for longer outings, rest and time together. Very often that means returning to the trails or getting on the bikes because, although the week is full, we like being busy this way.

Her Own Choice

Dahlia showed ability from an early age, but we let her try different sports before asking her to concentrate on one. She raced mountain bikes, tried track cycling and spent time in cyclocross camps, all while continuing with triathlon. At the end of one especially full summer, we explained that she could not pursue everything at the same level and asked her what she wanted most.

The answer was in her eyes before she said it. She chose XTERRA and triathlon. That distinction is important to me because the choice had to be hers. Michel and I can organize, drive, encourage and pay attention, but the desire has to come from Dahlia.

I do not need to force her to train. When her school program ended for the summer, she found a triathlon coach herself, arranged the meeting and began the work. At 16, she likes organizing herself and taking responsibility for what she wants.

That independence is something I am learning to respect. As a mother, my instinct is still to take her in my arms and protect her, but I also have to step back and let her have her own experiences. She is mature, capable and increasingly confident. It can be difficult to loosen my hold, but it is beautiful to watch her open her wings.

What Counts

Of course I was emotional when Dahlia won the XTERRA North American Youth Championship. Michel was at the finish too, and we were both incredibly proud. Yet the victories are not the part that affects me most.

I see her come home after training, tired and hot but pleased because she completed her intervals. When she is proud of herself, I feel proud too. A victory is a gift that may come afterwards. The real reward is seeing her finish something, know that she gave everything she had and feel happy with herself.

One of the biggest changes over the last year has been the confidence in her eyes. She has always been determined, but there were times when she did not seem fully convinced of her own ability. After racing Short Track beside the Elite women at the North American Championship, she came away believing, “I have a place here, and one day I want to be with them.”

Watching her has also changed the way I look at myself. I began competing much later in life, so the strongest pressure I feel usually comes from me. I love mountain biking, but descending is still difficult, and I often keep my hands on the brakes when I know I should relax. I have to quiet the negative voice, do my best and allow myself to be proud of the effort.

Dahlia reminds me to try. I want to reach the end of my own race and be able to say that I gave everything, improved something and finished proud of myself. I am proud of her, and it would be nice for her to feel proud of her mother too.

Going Together

For the past few years, we have used a travel trailer when the drive allows it. It lets us stay together, prepare our own food and turn the journey into family time. We calculate how long the drive will take and when everyone needs to rest, but we also make stops and enjoy the distance between home and wherever we are going.

Oak Mountain in Alabama holds some of my best memories. During our first trip, Dahlia was still having difficulty swimming confidently in the lake. Caroline Guay, an Elite athlete from Quebec whom we knew mostly by name, took her into the water for a day. Caroline practised drills and starts with her and helped something click.

They did not know each other well, but Caroline took Dahlia under her wing when she needed it. We will always be thankful for that. She has a small place in our hearts because I believe her kindness helped Dahlia become the athlete and person she is now.

That is also what I appreciate about the XTERRA community. People help one another in transition, wish each other good luck and offer encouragement during the race. My parents and the children’s grandparents also come when we race in Quebec, so an event becomes another way for different parts of our family to spend time together.

Be Proud

Before Dahlia races, I always tell her to have fun. Everything begins in the mind, and I know how quickly a negative voice can interfere with what the body is capable of doing. I remind her to stay positive, keep smiling and finish proud of herself.

The first thing I want to hear afterwards is not a time or a position. I want to hear, “It went well, Mom. I had fun, and I am proud of myself.”

That is what I want for both of my children. I want them to be healthy, to love themselves and to see a future that excites them. If Dahlia dreams of racing in the World Cup one day, I will do everything I reasonably can to help her find that opportunity, but it remains her dream and her measure of success.

For our family, the goal has never been to collect victories at the expense of everything else. It is to keep finding good days together, to help each other pursue what we love and to come home proud of how we lived them.

Photo credit: Louis Charland Photography